The First Month Without My Brother

Sharing and preserving the thoughts I shared on my Facebook page for the first month after losing my brother. I will continue to record my thoughts in my journal.

Also read my other articles:

Providential Blessings in the Midst of Tragedy

Remembering the Best Brother a Girl Could Have

January 21, 2012

Today is my brother’s birthday. I miss him more than words can express. My sister is going to have an open house for a few close friends and family at Jim’s house today in honor of his birthday.

How Can I Live Without You by LeAnn Rimes from one of my favorite movies, A Walk to Remember. This song haunts me, as I wonder how do I live without my brother?

January 20, 2012

4 weeks ago, today, I got that dreaded news! Last night, I had my first dream about my brother. He called me from Heaven to tell me he was fine. It was so great to hear his voice!

I am posting this song, because my brother loved to listen to the blues, sing karaoke and play his harmonica. Most of all, he is pain free and singing with the angels now!

January 13

Three weeks today I found out I lost the best brother a girl could ever have! He was my champion, my rock. I know I posted this already, but many of you missed it. This is the video I made of the incredible processional after the memorial service. What a sight! He was loved by SO many!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ViRjhivRsg

January 11

After we returned from the memorials, my husband got off the phone with my mom and asked, “Did you hear what happened to your mom this morning?” I said, “No.” He continued, “She was awakened by an intense beam of orange light shining in her bedroom [which faces West]! She said everything looked like it was on fire outside.”

I exclaimed, “What?” I ran and got my camera to show him pictures that I had taken that very morning! I, too, was awakened by red beams in my North facing bathroom window. I got up and looked out to see that all of the houses literally looked like they were on fire, like in the Ten Commandments movie! I ran and got my camera and took some pictures of the sunrise, but when I went back to photograph the houses on the hill, they were no longer lit up.

January 10

Oh, God, I’m running to your arms!

Live Concert: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=au3EGgISYMc

January 8

I Lift My Hands by Chris Tomlin

January 7

Cindi went to visit Jim’s grave site. She asked for a “sign” from God to encourage her. God provided this amazing cross in the sky, customized with flames coming out the top, just like Jim would love! Never seen anything like this EVER!

January 6

2 weeks ago today, we got the call about my brother.

In my life I have survived pneumonia as a baby, parent’s divorce, abusive stepfather, teasing in junior high, chronic bouts with pneumonia, bronchitis and flu, identity theft (twice), multiple stalkers, multiple abduction and attack attempts, break ins, the passing of friends and family members, paralysis, loss of career, house, horse, ability to care for myself, fatal stage of Lyme Disease, Progressive Multiple Sclerosis, Traumatic Brain Injury, Chemical Injury, abandonment by friends and family and on and on.

Yet, this is the very worst thing I have ever faced. Please keep me in your prayers. If you are in the area, please visit my mom and me. God comforts us not only through His Word, but through His children. We all need one another all of the time, not just in tragic times. 🙂

January 5

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape
You don’t spit in the wind
You don’t pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger
And you don’t mess around with Jim!

Jim LOVED this song all of his life, by Jim Croce

January 5

NEW Video! I just finished the video of the INCREDIBLE procession after my brother’s memorial service. This is quite a site! There were about 200 at his service and more at the dinner.

Everyone had a story to tell about how my brother always thought of others FIRST. He was a very caring and compassionate man with rough and tough exterior! He was loved by so many.

January 4

Getting my last BIG HUG from my brother. I could literally feel him hugging me back. Wayne had to pry me off.

I don’t know how I am going to go on without my big brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

January 3

Wow! Got a card today from a medical clinic I have been going to for a couple of years. In the note they said they want to plant a tree in Jim’s name! Isn’t that cool!! They have never even met him!

They have been so loving to me. When I go in they treat me like a friend, want to know how I am doing and spend time talking with me (outside of my appt).

http://www.wholehealthcenters.com/

January 2

PLEASE rally around my momma with calls and VISITS! She needs PEOPLE!

As you may know, she has been battling lung cancer for a year and now my brother (her baby) passed away in his sleep right before Christmas.

She (and I) was already isolated and alone. Jim would drive 600 miles to come visit us!! She would often go months without being with people!!

In many cases, if you are not 100% fragrance free (soap/shampoo) she could meet you for coffee or lunch (no perfume/lotion/strong deodorant/hairspray/Downy).

She is still VERY sick from the lung cancer and not able to care for herself, but she can’t stand being cooped up and alone. She needs to get out once in a while if that means being with people!!

She could also use some help with getting groceries or maybe drop off a salad, soup (she loves Panara) or gluten/egg/dairy free meal. These are great ways to show love and care even if you need to drop it at the door.

Please help me show her LOVE. If you need her address or phone number, please send me a private message. If you do not live in the area, you may choose to send a card.

Thank you!!!

December 31, 2011

Here is the tribute to my brother that I put together for the services and loved ones. There were about 200 people at the service and more at the celebration of his life.
People were weeping.

Sharing now with you all. Enjoy! I am thrilled about how it tuned out. It is pretty unique!

It is my gift to him and to so many who loved him.

GO REST HIGH UPON THAT MOUNTAIN by Vince Gill

I know your life
On earth was troubled
And only you could know the pain
You weren’t afraid to face the devil
You were no stranger to the rain

Go rest high on that mountain
‘Cause, Son, your work on earth is done
Go to Heaven a shoutin’
Love for the Father and the Son

Oh, how we cried the day you left us
And gathered round your grave to grieve
Wish I could see the angels’ faces
When they hear your sweet voice sing

Go rest high on that mountain
‘Cause, Son, your work on earth is done
Go to Heaven a shoutin’
Love for the Father and the Son

December 31

Here is the procession after the service, “Big Jim’s Ride.” Lots of awesome Harleys and choppers. He was loved by SO many!

[I do not own this video and am trying to get a copy of it from Mark Berkley]

December 30

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-8

Can’t get this song out of my mind (I Need Thee Every Hour) and I’m glad I can’t! Keep sending your comforting words, Dear Lord!! I need you EVERY hour, every minute!!

December 30

What will people say about US when we go? Wow! Hundreds of people came out to honor my brother! Person after person told of how he helped them, loved them and was always more concerned about others than himself. He was not only my mom’s, sister’s, niece’s and my rock, but he was a pillar of love, compassion and service to countless others.

In 2012, let’s all make concerted efforts to step off our fast and speeding trains of life to make sacrifices for others with our time and efforts. We can put aside a few petty, not so important things to reach out to others. It doesn’t take much.

December 29

James Mitchell Obit

I am posting this (his obituary), but I can’t even look at it. There were a ton of people at the second service and probably 200 or more at the dinner tonight. I can’t go.

I wrapped my arms around his casket and gave him a hug. I could literally FEEL him hugging me back. I didn’t want to let go. Wayne had to pry me off.

Just took a shower and eating something. Keep us in your prayers. We needed him!!!!!!!

December 28

SPECIAL THANK YOU to my hubby who has been amazing! He has let me cry, he has been loving to my momma, he drove me back and forth to my mom’s and got us food for three days. Then he got out the photo albums and started scanning pictures so I could create the memorial DVD. Wow! Thank you sweetie!!!

December 28

WE HAVE LANDED and our room is GREAT!!!!!! The lobby smells a bit like chlorine from the hot tub and the public restroom is way off limits, but the room is fabulous!! There is a back door, so we don’t even have to go through the lobby!

We didn’t need such a fancy place to stay, but being off the beaten path and not a chain hotel is what we had to do. Another praise is that the manager gave us a huge discount! The Wine Country Inn.

Praise the Lord! Thank you all for your prayers!

I only wish we could enjoy it, rather than be here to face this horrific reality that I will have to live with the rest of my days. 🙁

Praise the Lord! Thank you all for your prayers!

December 27

Found a place to stay! They passed my very lengthy checklist! But last time when we arrived it was the most toxic place I had ever been to. My husband drove up and down the “hotel row” and nothing was even close to being tolerable. This is an out of the way, privately owned place. Keep us in your prayers! We can’t be sleeping in the car in the winter, especially with my mom with us!

December 25

My brother called me last week to say he was sorry we couldn’t come over for Christmas this year. He had to have surgery on his foot. I understood and had no idea how without him we would be today and for the rest of my days. Haven’t been able to get this song out of my head. “I’ve just one wish on this Christmas eve. I WISH I WERE WITH YOU!!!!”

December 24

He was suffering so much, but I can’t let him go.

I Can’t Live if Living is Without You by Mariah Carey

No, I can’t forget this evening or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that’s just the way this story goes,
You always smile…. But in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes it shows

No I can’t forget tomorrow, when I think of all my sorrows
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now it’s only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I cant live, if living is without you
I can’t live, I can’t give anymore
Can’t live, if living is without you
can’t give, I can’t give anymore

Ohhhhhh (No can’t live)
No no no (No I can’t live)
I can’t live (No can’t live)
If living is without (No I can’t live)
I can’t live (No can’t live)
I can’t give anymore (No I can’t live)

December 24

My protector, my champion, my advocate, my best friend, my “big brudder.” You were there to teach me how to tie my shoe, you walked me across the street and you held me when I was scared.

When I became ill, you were there by my side, you never doubted me, you always loved me. When friends abandoned me because of chemical sensitivities, you drove 600 miles to visit me. You were always there for me.

Friends, please don’t tell me everything will be fine. Things weren’t fine before, but I always knew no matter how many losses I suffered, no matter how many friends chose a laundry detergent over me, I always had my brother.

I am extremely concerned about my mom. She, too, has been abandoned by friends because of detergents and soaps. My brother would call her, visit her and took care of her when he could drive over.

Please be so kind as to skip the platitudes. I know my mom and I have each other and I know we have God to get us through. But everyone needs friends and family around them, people to talk to, people to hold. Not just for a few weeks, but people who are like family, spend time together, share their lives, know each other celebrate and cry together.

Most everyone I know has friends, family, church, work, clubs, etc. they see and interact with people regularly. My mom and I often go months without spending time with anyone. We all need the love and support of others. My mom and I are God’s children. We have lots of love and laughter and friendship to give.

Thank you all for your prayers. That is the best thing you can do for us. But if you are within physical reach, please don’t forget us. Please don’t shut us out anymore, because of a handful of soaps. In 99% of situations, there are simple ways to remedy these issues. God thinks we are worth the trouble and so do I. Just ask.

How to go fragrance free or make simple modifications: http://cleanerindoorair.org/campaigns/choose-friendships-over-fragrances/

Just a Few Post From Friends and Family Who Knew Jim:

Facebook

Sherri, my heart empties for you and your family. I so enjoyed meeting & spending time with your family…sitting there with Jim…being touched by his spirit…it was a neat evening. Tonight, I’m especially thankful for that time with him & pray that you and all your wonderful family can celebrate the man who, over one dinner, a year or so ago, left me wth a special footprint of kindred spirit. A BIG hug to you & yours. Ed Hearn

Thanks for making/posting this video. I was shocked and sad when I heard the news and didn’t get a chance to really think about Jim and reflect until now. As I watched the video I thought about how Jim had blessed my life even though we only said “hi” to each other once a year or less. What beautiful pictures and memories! Randy Stanton

Small world (or town). I met Jim years ago when he was married to Catrina whom I worked with at Sundstrand . We seemed to hit it off as we shared some things in common like, Hotrods, Harleys, Drag racing etc. Anytime we would see each other out and about we would alway’s stop to visit. I alway’s had to ask what he was driving or building as he seemd to have something different everytime I saw him. Just a fun guy to hang around and visit with…enjoyed what little time I did spend with him…such a neat person. So sorry 🙁 John Yurick

Sherri, I wish Jim knew how many people loved him so much!!! I haven’t seen him in a few years. I met him abt 30 years ago. His friend Colin Childers, is my best friends brother. I would see Jim at the mumbys pig roast every year. He looked TOUGH lol :)!!! But he was the softest, kind hearted person ever, just like YOU!!! I have been very bless to have been his friend. Thank you for sharing that video, it really warmed my heart and made me smile!!! I know Jim was smiling too!!! I don’t think he knew how many peoples lives he has touched over the years!!!! I can’t say enough good things abt my friend and your brother ((((((((((MITCH)))))))))) Again I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET HIM!!!! Much love to you. If you need anything just know you and your family are in my prayers…….. BIG HUGS TO YOU Renee Bonnell-Chason

Memorial Guestbook

Love you so much Uncle Fun! You were everything to me! U are the reason I am the woman I am today! You taught me things fathers teach there daughters! You protected me, stood by me & loved me unconditionally! You will forever be in my heart & on my mind as I look in the mirror & see pieces of you in me! I will never let you go! Holly Dee McNeil-Carey

Jim was one of those people who made you feel welcome. I knew him because of his mom, Carole, as well as IDA. We will carry on the work with IDA with him in our hearts. Nancy Stern-Jude

Jimmy Ju.:).. Oh how you touched my heart from the moment I met you… there was just something about you. I will miss you and love you always…..with all that I am… for all of my days. You were more amazing than you will ever know. Will meet up with you again…. and dance in the clouds…… Please visit me in my dreams. I love you Jim. Thank you for always listening.. for always being my accomplice in trying to solve the problems of the world….. memories of you make me smile. Rest in peace love. Cindi

I did not know Jim but I did hear a lot of good things about him through his sister, Sherri. I have been on IDA for a few years now and it was clear how much Sherri loved her brother. I was actually stunned when I had heard he passed away. Couldn’t believe it – My condolences to all family and friends. I am SO sorry for your loss. Sherri and Wayne, you are in my heart and my prayers. God Bless ALL Of You! Love, Kathy in California

To my big brother, not my half brother but my brother, … We will truly miss you… What can I say… Your life on earth was meaningful to everyone you touched… Big guy big heart… I love you big brother… I’ll never forget the look on your face every time I called you Jimmy!!! Especially as an adult… Go home and go rest… Love you. Chris Mitchell

I wish I had know him…he sounds like a wonderful man who left a great legacy. I am sorry as I know he has left a big hole in your family…may God give you grace, mercy and hope…..we do grieve, but not without hope! Love you Sherri
Whitlock Family

Thanks to my brother Jim for taking me in even if not by choice. Thanks for watching me as a kid. You will truelly be missed. Your brother, Marty

Jim was always needed, his smile and loving heart will always be cherished!!! To Jim, thank you for being a GOOD friend, always having that sparkle in your eyes when you smiled, I will miss your kindness and carefree spirit!! My heart breaks for you!!! I pray that you have found peace and love in the arms of JESUS. Jim you did give the best hugs!!! Sherri your brother had the kindest heart. He loved everyone……. and everyone loved him too!!! Sherri you are in our prayers…. much love…. My heart is breaking….. BIG HUGS MITCH!!!!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOOXOXOXOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I will never forget you………… Renee Bonnell-Chason